The Keepin’ Up With the Jones’ Quiz

 Take the quiz, 10 or less points is where you need to be.

1) Your neighbor just got a new car, you:
a) Run right over to the dealer and get a new one too
b) Run over to your neighbor and admire his
c) Wash and wax you paid off vehicle and smile smugly

2) Your neighbor just got a new, fancy roadside mailbox, you:
a) Ask where he got it so you can get one too
b) Ask if it is postmaster approved and if the mailman will expect a bigger Christmas tip
c) Apply more duct tape to your baseball batted, old one

3) Your neighbor just installed a new pool, you:
a) Start plans to clear trees and hiring a pool contractor
b) Head over to his house in flip flops and shorts with a towel
c) Get the kids in the car and head to the town pool happy in knowing someone else has to filter and skim it

4) Your neighbor just got a new ride-on mower for his quarter acre, you:
a) Immediately call the lawn center to find out how late they are open
b) Call the local landscaper for estimates
c) Use the old mower and compost the clippings

5) Your neighbor just got his wife a boob job, you:
a) Start thumbing through the yellow pages for surgeons
b) Spend more time at the window with the binoculars
c) Smile while looking at your wife because she had the “right” genetics to start with

6) Your neighbor just put his kids in private school, you:
a) You ask your wife to call the school Monday morning
b) You get your kids a private tutor
c) You smile knowing your neighbor now subsidizes your kid’s fine public school education with his tax dollars

7) Your neighbor just went on another vacation to Atlantis, you:
a) Get on the travel sites with credit card in hand
b) Appreciate your two vacations you already had
c) Get the kids in the car and head to one of the many state parks near you as you do most weekends

8) Your neighbor just got a new motorcycle, you:
a) Head to the dealer after lunch
b) Ask him for a ride, while drolling on the seat
c) Are glad to have the bicycle and the exercise you get

9) Your neighbor just got a trendy, pure bred dog, you:
a) Ask if there are any left in the litter
b) Go to the shelter and rescue an animal
c) Are too busy chasing the kids and secretly hope the damn neighbor’s dog doesn’t soil your lawn

10) Your neighbor just installed an outdoor kitchen with the latest fancy grill, you:
a) Knock over the garbage cans as you race out of the driveway to the nearest home center
b) You hope to get invited over for a cookout to check out the new work on his wife
c) While flipping burgers on your Weber kettle grill, you wonder if it will be left unused like the unused pool

Give yourself three points for every “A” answer, two points for every “B” answer, and 1 point for every “C” answer.

30 points– You are Mr. or Mrs. Jones
21 and above– You are in an arms race you probably can’t win
16 and above– You could go either way.  Beware the dark side of the force . . .
11 and above– You need to spend a little more time worrying about you
10 points– You don’t give a damn about the neighbors crap– Good for you!

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  1. J. Money says:

    You had me at boob job, haha…

    (Almost spit out my coffee on that one)

    1. admin says:

      Haha, No one one said we can’t have fun while learning to consume less. Apparently this quiz did offend a few women over at Reddit. Oh well I guess not all have a sense of humor.

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